Now Willie clearly knew his stuff as he sniffed then sipped his beer,
Then he strangely took the pie and squashed it on his ear.
The barmaid smiled in disbelief , and meant to ask him why,
But with a full house on a Friday night, she forgot Willie and his pie.
Then later Willie said “ my dear, I’ll take a pint please and a pie”,
I’m sorry sir the pies are gone, is there something else you’d care to try?
“Yes” said he, “I’ll take some crisps and another pint of beer”,
Then once he’d sniffed and sipped, he took the crisps, and crushed them on his ear.
Once again the barmaid watched and thought how very queer,
Then said to Willie “ tell me sir, why do you crush crisps on your ear?”
As Willie crushed his ear with crisps, she couldn’t believe her eyes,
“Oh” he said “quite simply dear, because you don’t have any pies”.