Tag Archives: poem

Read Yourself Slim

Read Yourself Slim,
With the Poetry Diet,
My challenge to you,
Is simply to try it.

My poems and buttons,
Your secrets will tell,
To help you feel happy,
And healthy and well.




Dwake the Dwunk Duck


Poetography by gogsieboy and Jokeypoet.

Dwake The Dwunk Duck

Drake was happy and life was good,
He lived by the beach as every duck should,
He’d forage for food and swim for fun
But most of the time he just sat in the sun.

Then one day, something new did appear,
A crate, which held twelve bottles of beer.
With practice he found that by sitting quite still,
He could open a bottle with the tip of his bill.

So the first one he opened and drank all the beer,
And started to notice he felt quite queer,
When he lloooked at the sky it went wound and wound
He goot ip to waddle bot fell back down.

Then one led to two and he sat quite still,
As he prised off the top with the tip of his bill.
With the second one finished his brain felt the haze,
Is overythong doobled om whoch ez dod gaaaze.

And so the druck dunk thought oll jusht has wun moore,
Bit nhow shitting shtill, witch hiz bil, wizh a chor.
Ez westled and gwappled witch ill off hiz might
Bot the lid in the bottly it shtayed raewy tight.

Sho awl e cood do wiz to lay in the sun
Hish head spoonning rrround now it wasn’t such fun
“Ohhh Never again” az he lay oan hish bick
And all he could say was simply Qu’hic’. Qu’hic

Hot Stuff


Poetography by Lindsay and Jokeypoet

Hot…summer sizzling lazy afternoon.
Hot…vino rosy, drunk a bit too soon
Hot…sun caresses, dream boys croon
Hot…drifting, dreaming, away, schwoom

Hot…on the beach, toned and tanned
Hot…the attention, refined yet grand
Hot…feel the eyes, grains of sand
Hot…dreaming, dreaming nothing planned

Hot…eyes connecting in darkened rooms
Hot…music, pumping to DJ’d tunes
Hot…passion, kisses, feints, heady swoons
Hot…sweat and perfume as morning looms




Movember’s here so listen up bro,
Put your pride away it’s time to grow,
A tashe will get some huge respect
Then grow a pair and get them checked……… Here’s how.

Take a very good friend and a bottle of wine,
A nice log fire and plenty of time,
Your friend may hold for whisky or gin,
For the task in hand is as ugly as sin. ….. Good luck.

Now strike the pose where the sun shines best,
Just sit back, your friend does the rest,
Before they do lets explain the rules,
They’re looking for a raisin in a bag of bools……..sit back…. Relax

There’ll be lots of groping and fumbling around,
But there’s a real good chance nothing will be found,
So take some pics give us all a look,
At your tashe of course get it on Facebook……..raise C…..for C.

Now if you don’t have a friend and you don’t have the time,
And you don’t have a fire and you don’t have the wine,
Your doc is there you can just stop by
Or there’s the Nike way it’s JDI….


Istanbul – Where East meets West.

In Istanbul you feel the pulse of the city,
A city, like Alexandrea, like New York,
Vendors pushing barrows, McDonalds,
The trams scream out “I’m modern”
The people whisper “we’re ancient ”

In Istanbul the men fish from the new road bridge,
The way they did 1000 years ago,
We’re not moving, they say with each cast of the rod.
The cars buzz, one million cars all buzzing,
They replaced carts with cars and left the rules alone.

In Istanbul you can hear the call to prayer,
And they answer, but not before stocking up on their supply of Viagra
Mini skirts are rarer than burkas, but not much,
The streets are paved with honour and respect and men trying to sell boat trips,

In Istanbul you can feel the pulse of the city,
Mosques meet hotels, ancient obelisks tower over the subway,
In Istanbul you can taste the Turkish Delight.

Draining the Swamp

The power to lead when the going gets tough,
Is an art in itself and a skill for the tough,
They can stop! Be calm! When all others just freak,
Take control, slow things down, it’s solutions they seek.

If this is the person that you’d like to be,
Then learn to appraise, use some vision to see,
Find the source, use your logic to fight out the fire,
You’ll be strong, you’ll be fearless you never will tire.

However take heed as you climb to the top,
The demons won’t die, they just shift, never stop,
To drain out the swamp, will seem like a farce,
When those gaters and crocs are nipping your arse.

Be strong
JP July 2012

My Old Cat

My old cat,
was not always that,
I remember a kitten so nice.
She would dance by the moon,
To her favourite tune,
Which of course is 3 blind mice.

Her favourite dish,
Is micecream and fish,
Followed by lashings of milk.
Then she’ll purr and she’ll fawn,
Take a stretch and a yawn,
Then a nap on my cushions of silk.

If she fancies a jog,
She will meow at a dog,
And tease it until she is bored.
Climb a tree to the top,
Hear the tweets all stop?
Then home to be spoiled and adored.

Now she wants to retire
So just sits by the fire
And doesn’t move far from the house
Her life is now slow
But there’s eight more to go
She’ll be back and be chasing that mouse.

JP 1 July 2012

Equality- a state of mind

If only we were equal,
I’ve often heard it said,
We’d find the things that ail the world
And put them all to bed.

Scotland wants “equality”
And women want it too
Let’s dish it out in Africa
Let’s start with me and you

But equal can’t be measured
Unless you have a scale
Or scientific number
To describe your Holy Grail.

The truth is we’re all different
It’s our differences that count
If we celebrate each other
Then we won’t feel so left out.

Enjoy your neighbour’s nice bits
Then help them where they’re weak
Show others they can do the same
To forge the world you seek.

Your mind~your world.

JP April 2012

Four Brothers ~ A Mighty Union.


This is a tale of four brothers I knew
Stewart, Eric, Ian and Wills
I’ll tell you their story and every word true
Their highs and lows their lifts and spills.

They didn’t have much in the early days,
And made their share of silly mistakes.
together they learned to forge their ways
Whilst turning their backs on liars and fakes.

As brothers do they have had their fights
Falling in and out as they made their way,
But they learned how to have some wonderful nights
Yet return to their own lives during the day.

They grew very close with honour and code
Lived side by side and cheek by jowl
But others who couldn’t travel this road
Showed spite and hate both fair and fowl.

Together the brothers stood up to their foes
And they helped their friends to be all they could be
Together they shared to ease many woes
Whilst striking a fear in all tyranny.

They have earned much respect from within and afar
Their battle relentless for all that is good
Now they stand with proud allies who each bear the scar
They have won in the fight for their own neighbourhood

Now they’re followed by millions who all want to share
Their vision of freedom of fairness and truth
They have trust and respect and are known to be fair
Four brothers, a union of real living proof.
The United Kingdom
Not what it costs, What it’s worth.
BF April 2012